Becoming Powerful YOU: Step 1

On this earth, we as people are arguably more interested in attaining power over our own lives than any other achievement there is. For sure, the allure of money, finding the perfect spouse, and living in a beautiful home are among many things everyone thinks about, but none of these embody true meaning – nor can they be fully enjoyed - without first experiencing a genuine sense of personal power.

What do I mean by power? I am not speaking of a strictly physical force; muscle and brawn are minute factors in the landscape of personal power. I am also not speaking of power over other people, for this is a path that, at best, leads to a superficially successful life that never actually satisfies and, at worst, leads to a slow self destruction. Friends, the power I am speaking of is much more profound. The power I want to talk about is the only power, in my view, that means anything. It is the power over your personal self.

Achieving power over your personal self is the only way to experience real, undeniable freedom in your life. Freedom from financial burden, freedom from relationship drama/turmoil, freedom from worry, and freedom from self-criticism, to name a few. If you master power over your personal self, you will be free of virtually all of life's day-to-day burdens that keep us far away from reaching our potential.

As with any journey from Point A to Point B, practice practice practice makes perfect. The first thing you must practice in order to obtain true power over your personal self is ownership. Now, for many people, this concept can be a hard pill to swallow. In fact, it is the reason why many people who would like to experience a sense of personal power quit before they really get started. It is a tall order, I will grant you that. Sometimes, it will be scary. Frequently, it will challenge your pride and you will feel foolish. And there will be plenty of occasions when you get so lost in the story of your life that the whole concept seems wrong. Stick with it. Once you've got a good handle on the idea, with experience to back up its worth, you'll be hard pressed to find much else in life that can be more satisfying.

What I mean by ownership is this: you must own everything you do, say, think, and feel. This does not mean that you are defined by your actions, words, thoughts, or feelings. It simply means that they are yours. No one forced you to do them, and no one placed them in your head. What it boils down to is this: you must freely relinquish from your life all sense of blame. You must accept that no other person, event, or chance occurrence is at fault for your life circumstances. Your life looks the way it does, today looks the way it does, because of you.

Now, this is not to say that your life is your fault. No way! In fact, what it means is that your life is your creation. Think about that statement for a moment. Your life is your creation. Look around. What characteristics describe your life? What are the details? What is the general mood? Take inventory. Chances are, you will notice areas where you feel content, and areas that need improvement. Where does the balance lie? If your life is your masterpiece, a continuously evolving work of art, would you, at this very moment, display it on a wall in your home? Because that, friends, is a well-lived life; one that, foibles and all, we would happily offer to others to witness, to learn from, and to laugh with.

Most likely, though, this is not where you're at. It's not where most of us are at. If I may, allow me to be completely blunt for a moment. There is one reason, and one reason only, why we are not all jumping at the bit to show off our lives to everyone we meet, to have our whole, transparent lives be, metaphorically speaking, the first thing people see when they enter our home. That reason is shame. To varying extents, we all feel it. We all feel like we could have done more, we should be more, we are not living to our potential and, therefore, we feel embarrassed by the picture our life is. We know it is not the masterpiece it could be.

I believe this sense of shame people share stems from an innate knowledge that we can own our own lives. We can, but we choose not to. So often, in the moment, it is easier to take the backseat, to allow the vehicle of our life to meander aimlessly until it either crashes or runs out of gas. Then we get out, point at our surroundings and say, “I don't like this, and this is not my fault. I was not driving this car.” But who got out of the driver's seat? Who made that decision? And while we're at it, I must remind you, there was no one in the driver's seat. Not your mother, not your boss, not your spouse or children, and not the cashier who was rude to you at the grocery store. When we throw away ownership of our life, we are not handing it over to someone else whom we can later blame for how things turn out. We are leaving the driver's seat empty.

I invite you to care enough about yourself to stay in the driver's seat of your life, to never again make the choice to be a bystander in the only arena where you were born to be center stage. From here forward, you can decisively refuse to think of yourself as a victim. You can - right now, today, as you are - begin the most incredible journey you will ever travel. Take ownership of your life and watch your own personal power begin to bubble to the surface. Practice, practice, practice, and before you know it, you'll be hanging that ever-evolving masterpiece right on your front door.